Monday, July 13, 2009

Trust Changes Everything

In order to build trust with others, we must first start with ourselves.

Ask yourself:

1. Am I Credible?
2. Am I someone people (including myself) can trust?
3. Do people believe me?

I've learned the hard way that trust is based upon 2 things: Character and Competence.

It takes time to build your character, credibility, and competence after it's lost. I firmly believe it can be rebuilt, if the person has truly changed/reformed.

I will use myself as an example.

I work for my father's company as his office manager. I used to come in late, take days off, roll out of bed and roll into work in my pajamas, slack on doing my work (granted I always did it, but WHEN was the main question), etc... Basically I was unorganized, ungrateful, unappreciative, and disrespectful (not verbally, but my lack of motivation for my job speaks volumes) I'd always make excuses and justify things by telling myself and my dad I could be worse. Why I thought that statement was acceptable is beyond me, now. I continued to let my dad down, his trust and confidence continued to fall. My dad did kept hope in me because I hadn't always been that way. I'd always been independent, dependable, and trustworthy. I'm positive if I hadn't worked for my father, I'd have been standing in the unemployment line.

This was my character. This is how I represented myself. It created problems in all areas of my life. I decided I wanted to "get it together" and do things right. I had better results in life when I did what I was supposed to do.

I started making small changes in my life. I made a conscious effort to be on time for work every morning. I made a decision to dress more appropriately for an office environment, as I would for any other job. I removed myself from internet sites which took my attention away from my work. I made a conscious effort to finish my work the same day it was/is given to me. i.e...I used to only file on Fridays, now I file everyday. I no longer procrastinate.

By improving myself, I improved my work relationship with my father. I've re-established trust. He now counts on me and believes I'm an asset to his company.

Not only has this improved my work habits but it has improved many other areas in my life. I no longer have to drive home in the evenings after work to get ready for a meeting/gathering after work. (Let me state I live an hour north of my office) I'm already dressed. I no longer have to stay late to finish work I procrastinated all day to do. This has helped me keep my commitments and improve my punctuality, tremendously.

Trust starts with you. You have to trust yourself before anyone else can trust you. Self trust is vital to self improvement and to building trust in others.

YOU CAN DO IT, IF YOU TRY!!! It's never too late to start.


  1. I completely agree with you. :) Right now my sister -in - law is in the same state you were in before you chose to make the effort needed to gain trust back. It saddens me to see her the way she is. She used to not be this way, but now she's doing everything she can do break trust in the family. It's sad. I hope though that eventually she'll get herself back on the right track and begin doing so by improving her attitude. :) :) Anyway, I think you've done great with your self improvement thusfar. :) :) I'm sure your father greatly appreciates what you've done to gain his trust back. :) :) I hope all goes well with you.

  2. Thank you, Gina!

    I'm sure it's not intentional. Usually, there's an underlying problem.

    Hopefully, she'll pull herself out of her slump:-)

    Everything is great! Hope married life is treating you well.

  3. Congrats girl! I'm sure you are a lot happier with yourself. It sounds like you were just in a funk =0) Glad you're back on track!