People are often judged by appearances, and by hearsay. Most of the world is judged on the way they conduct themselves. The way people choose to act towards one another - whether in wars, fights with family members or loved ones, co-workers - can make you look bad. It leaves an impression upon people, who then spread more hearsay without knowing the situation but observing your actions.
I remember my mother telling me as a child "I don't care who started it. Ya'll better stop fighting", when I'd be fighting with my little brother.
It doesn't matter who starts/ed the fighting or bickering, just stop it.
The blame game becomes the main focal point in the conversation and you end up fighting some more. You did this to me, so I'm gonna do this to you.
Have you ever been so angry towards someone for hurting you? What went through your mind? You wanted to hurt them back? You wanted them to feel the pain you were experiencing?
I know I have numerous times. It's hard to turn the other cheek when you care about someone who has hurt you. It's easy to walk away from people you don't care about or no longer have feelings towards. You just want the fighting to end.
During times of emotional pain, people think irrationally. They can be very vindictive, and the two of you together can destroy each other in the process of trying to win a battle.
If WORLD WAR III were to ever happen, we'd have to stop at some point, because we'd blow the world to smithereens. Nobody would win, and everyone would lose.
Just let it go. Forgive them not because you're supposed to, because you want to be healed. Forgiveness is a major part of the healing process.
"Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive"
It may not happen in a day or overnight, but work on forgiving the people who have caused you pain. And release it from you. You'll feel much better.