As I was browsing through my local Books-A-Million, looking for December's issue of Rounder Magazine, (since it had a few candid shots of yours truly and my friend Keri in it from the promotion I attended back in October) I glanced at a few books (on sale) in the middle isle and one book caught my eye "Why Mars and Venus Collide" by John Gray, PH.D. He also wrote "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"...I'm sure most of you readers have heard of it.
This book is extremely informative on how men and women think and act differently. It explains how men and women cope with stress differently. I say it with extreme sarcasm.
It points out how women often make the mistake of expecting men to react and behave the way women do, and the "poor ol men" misunderstand what women really need.
It says leaving a man alone and ignoring him is sometimes the best way to support him while he's stressed. I tend to like to torture my man while he's stressed out because he's usually the reason I'm stressed out. LOL I guess that's what I've been doing wrong all these years. I'll work on that one:-)
It says when men have little to say, we women often take it personally and think he doesn't want to share. I guess that's another thing I've been doing wrong. From my experience when they don't want to talk about something, they're usually hiding something. And they usually try to change the subject to distract you from thinking about it. Obviously, I'm a negative thinker. I should work on being more positive and not taking his silence so personally.
It says looking at other women is a healthy instinct for men. Women should be glad they look without drooling. Women should respect their tendencies to look, as long as it is in a tasteful way because it demonstrates he's still attracted to women. Geez! All those times my man looked at other women while we were out, I shouldn't have gotten so mad. It must have really hurt his feelings. I should really appreciate him lusting after another woman and undressing her with his eyes. It's a natural thing. Gosh! Thank goodness for this book. I think it will really help me turn into the doormat woman a man wants me to be in the relationship. I should even encourage him to go get her number just incase we break-up. You only live once.
Appreciating and accepting what he does, or forgiving him for what he neglects to do, is the most supportive way a woman can treat a man. Oh really! Well when I work all day long, and then get home to cook, clean, and do my odds and ends of little things and he can't do the one thing I asked him to do I should definitely forgive him. He should also forgive me for forgetting to cook dinner or for putting a red shirt in the washer with his white clothes. I'm not perfect. Accidents happen and it must have slipped my mind that you can't wash the 2 together. LOL
I finally came across something I can relate to:
Women, unlike men, are not interested in sex when they are stressed.
Yeah cause the man is usually the reason we're mad or stressed out.
It also states after a few years of listening to the same complaints, a man doesn't bother to listen or help. Well obviously he hasn't done anything to help the whole time she has been complaining or she wouldn't still be complaining. I think after the second time of telling a man what's bothering you and he chooses to not help or make an effort to alleviate the problem, just get rid of him. Problem solved on both sides.
It also states women talk too much for a variety of reasons. If a woman thinks sharing her feelings will actually make a man want to do more for her, she is on the wrong track. It's a turn off. I guess I should have my teeth wired together and become a mute.
We women have a nuance of a scoring system. We do everything for a man and we hold it against him later and we tend to put him down for not doing the same. We should pick-up after him, cook his dinner, and appreciate he has come home to us after both parties were at work and also because he's faithful. Are you freaking kidding me? If a man doesn't want to be faithful, he shouldn't be in a relationship. Men know how to turn off the stress levels unlike a woman. We get ourselves worked up over these issues such as a clean house. Well if we don't do it. They aren't going to do it. It'll stay messy and then they will have something to say about it later when there aren't any clean dishes or the bathtub is filthy. In my experience men tend to think their job is alot harder than a woman's job. Sounds like he might just need a maid and a sex buddy.
This book is a complete joke. It was a written by a man. Obviously an egotistical man who needs to go live in a different country where women are second class citizens.
Don't get me wrong, I love cooking and cleaning and taking care of my man. But if he's a complete slob, we're going to have problems, because I won't allow someone to take advantage of me. This isn't Leave it to Beaver. I'm not a housewife. I work, too. I have responsibilties I need to tend to, without him adding to my "to do list". It's called working together as a team. A grown man knows how to pick-up after himself. If he doesn't have time for my problems, he doesn't need to be with me.