Tuesday, December 23, 2008

What will happen if I pick this scab?

I'm going to take a break from my past and focus on right now.

It amazes me how one minute you can feel one way towards something or someone, and within a blink of an eye, you're no longer friends or that something is gone.

People in relationships, are going to fight. They're going to argue, and they're going to disagree at some point during the relationship.

You get mad over a certain issue, and a hundred other issues get brought into the argument. Issues that have been addressed in the past. Are you seriously going to bring up an issue we've already overcome during the course of this relationship that happened 6 months ago? I thought we already fought over the issue once and squashed it? But NO, some people can't focus on the issue at hand. I can't stand it, when people do that...My mother does it. She'll get upset about something and bring up something you did 10 years ago to ARGUE over.

"A loser seldom lives in the present, but instead destroys the present by focusing on past memories or future expectations."

The strong forgive, the weak get angry. The angry person holds onto the bitterness and anger to soothe a fragile ego. Anger makes us feel as if we're in control and powerful. I'm guilty of this myself. It's very seldom I get angry, but once I do, stay out of my way.

I always get over things and let things go. I don't focus on past issues. They say the act of forgiving is overall better for one's emotional and physical health. Half the time, I can't even remember past issues unless they're brought to my attention.

I hate arguing. I usually try to avoid confict, but I've recently encountered a problem.

Someone close to me said and did some very hurtful things to me. Instead of taking the high road, I chose to retaliate. I apologized for my part, but they refuse to apologize for what they did. It's hard to forgive someone, who's not sorry for what they did to you. Someone who brings up past issues to justify their current behavior. What happened months ago has nothing to do with what's going on now, especially if we've already supposedly forgiven each other.

This person knows my weaknesses and what buttons to push to make me mad, and constantly picks and pokes at them until I'm pissed off. It's kinda similiar to a pesky little brother or sister, who picks on the older sibling until they've had enough and then the parents only catch the older one retaliating against the younger one and the older one gets into trouble.

I'm tired of being blamed for things I didn't do towards this individual. I'm tired of this individual making me look bad and playing the victim in every situation, when they're guilty, too.
It takes 2 people to argue. It takes 2 people to fight. And it takes both people apologizing to each other to overcome a certain situation.

On a brighter note, I'd like to say Happy Birthday to my friend Stephanie!


  1. It sounds like you are going through about the same thing I did over the past year or so. My closest friend isn't speaking to me because I got mad and said something I shouldn't have. She took it the wrong way. I've applogised 5 times for my part in the conflict, but she still doesn't think she's ever done anything wrong to get me upset in the first place. Finally after months of conflict and her trying to break me and my boyfriend up, I just stepped back and decided God can handle it. If she can't accept 5 applogies, and is still going behave badly towards me then I can't be around her. I still pray for her daily, and hope that in time she won't resent me anymore.

    I hope you don't expect your friend to appologies though. There's a possiblity she may never appologize. You just have to take the high road and forgive her despite that.

    Love your friend even if it's painful. If it gets to be too much then step back and trust that God knows what he's doing.

    He can use her paid for his good and glory. :)

    I hope things get better. :) :)

  2. Me-Shell!
    It does take Two to Tango. You can not have a positive life and a negative mind...You know this. Looking back only gets in the way of moving forward. I've learned that the hard way!! Keep your head up Beautiful and keep moving forward!