Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Life's not fair

I went to Tampa for the weekend with a few of my friends. It was the best time I've had in a long time. The scenery is beautiful, the people are happy, and the water is relaxing. It was a totally 80's weekend, so they played old school rap all weekend long. It made me feel like a kid again. Happy Folks in the picture above:-)

Anyways, I get home to get back to my normal daily grind; I've opted to take on a second job to save money to purchase a home. It'll leave very little personal time for me, but sometimes you have to sacrifice to get what you want.

Reality has settled.

I want to vent to all you people today. Do I want to work a second job? NO Do I need to work a second job? YES

I'm a single mother who receives help from my family without them; I don't know where I'd be. My mother helps me tremendously. She is basically the father and I'm the mother in the situation because we share duties. I.e. I drop Tre off at school. She picks him up.


It's my responsibility to get Tre up every morning, feed him breakfast, make his lunch, pack him a snack, get him dressed, fix his hair, and make sure he brushes his teeth along with getting myself ready each morning for work.
I pack up his belongings for school and get him into the car. To sit in school Traffic for about 30 minutes each morning before driving another 45 minutes to work.
I arrive 30 minutes later these days due to Tre's school not allowing parent drop-off until 7:40.
Anywho, I'm here until about 5:00 everyday. Once I arrive home, dinner needs to be prepared for Tre, and myself. Tre has reading homework to do and guess who has to do it with him...Ding! Ding! Ding! ME!
This doesn't include his 2 days a week soccer practice for an hour starting at 6:00. His Saturday morning soccer games at 9:00 and his Flag Football games on Sunday at 2:00 (starting this Sunday)
I'm exhausted. All this is costly. I'm tired of my parents help (although I appreciate it more than they realize).

His DAD lives in West Virginia. I receive little help from him due to the distance between us, but it still isn't fair. His dad chose to reside in West Virginia and miss out on Tre's upbringing (for the most part). His dad doesn't pay me child support on a consistent basis so I can't count on "child support" to help with any of Tre's activities or necessities. If I waited for his money to arrive, Tre would starve, so here I am COMPLAINING!

I'd love to be a stay-at-home-mother and tend to my motherly duties on a daily basis but I don't have that option. I do what I have to do, to provide for my child. My goal is to make sure my child's life is better than mine, to keep him protected, and out of harm.

It's damaging to a child's upbringing to not have their parents or family involved. It hurts to be teased at school for the clothes you wear, the house you live in, the car your parent's drive, or even for your parent's behavior, etc.

It isn't fair. I had a child with someone who has the option of whether he wants the responsibility. If I had the same attitude as his father, where would my son be at this moment in time? He wouldn't be in my care; I know that's for sure.

It's very easy for people to pass judgment, but until you're put in a position to make certain decisions, you don't know what you'd do.

It's easy to tell someone how to be happy or how to live their life, but we all know it's much easier said than done.

I know plenty of people who struggle to take care of themselves.

I'm going to jump off my soapbox. Thanks for listening enjoy your day!!!


  1. You make a great point on the ease with which others pass judgement...I call them out on it at every turn. We all have our struggles, the last thing anyone should do is judge others for how they deal with theirs...

  2. Your attitude is mature and refreshing. So is your gratitude, for that matter.

    Don't apologize for telling the truth, lest you be to timid to speak it to those who need to hear it.

  3. I personally am very proud of you for being so responsible and a mother that Tre can be proud of. It is hard growing up without a father, and I hope one day he can come to terms with that. I think you are doing a GREAT job managing your life and your responsibilities. I know it's hard sometimes to accept help from your parents, but they are there and want to help you and I'm glad you are thankful to them for that. I'm very thankful that my grandmother chose to help my mother raise me. Mom never would have been able to do it without their help. I'm going through life right now, knowing that my mom probably won't be there to see my children be born and grow up. It's very difficult, because it's an experience I always thought my mom would be a part of, and now I'm having to take care of her while she's going through terminal cancer. You're right, life isn't fair at all, but then again, God never gives us more than we can handle. I know that even though mom won't be there to help when I do have children, he will provide help for me when that day comes. Anyway, I understand not wanting to work a second job. I have the same concerns right now. I need to work full time and possibly get a second job so we can afford to get a place of our own to live, but with my mom in the shape she's in, she needs me to be there everyday, and because of that I'm only working part time. I'm grateful that I can work part-time, but financially full time work would be better. I'm not sure how it's going to work out, I just keep praying that God will provide for us right now, while I'm only working part time so that I can spend time with my mother before she passes. I know it will be tough to work a second job and miss out on being with Tre. Life isn't fair, but God will provide for you. :) :) I'm glad you have such a good outlook on life. :) :)