Monday, August 31, 2009

I love ME!

We have a very short time on this planet, and we waste so many hours not really enjoying what time we have. ~ Loretta LaRoche

I've been pretty stressed out for over the past year or so now due to an unhealthy relationship. No matter what I did, it was never good enough. I literally beat myself up on the inside trying to make this person happy. I always felt as if I did something wrong and a few times I did, but only after he had wronged me. Does this justify my actions? No. People fight in relationships and hurt each other during the process.

Don't change yourself for someone else it will only lead to resentment. You'll grow angry with the person. Don't get in a relationship thinking they will change. You'll only grow frustrated because they won't change.

If he's a player don't think he won't play you. If she's a gold-digger don't think she won't use you. Granted there are a few exceptions:-)

Not long ago, I took the time to compose a handwritten letter for an ex-boyfriend expressing my feelings towards him. He later chose to expose the letter via the internet being mean-spirited. But if I were to have done the same thing, he would claim that I'm evil and hateful and blah, blah, blah. It was okay for him to do certain things, but not me. Go figure!

If someone doesn't except you exactly as you are, they aren't the one for you. You can't do anything to make them love, like you, or want to be with you. It's a sign to hit the road and find/wait for someone else who will.

This treatment isn't his fault. It's mine. I allowed it. Although he proclaims to be a compassionate, forgiving, and inspirational guru. He may be that for other people, but for me, he's my kryptonite.

Now this person is no longer apart of my life, and things have been much more peaceful. I don't feel as if I'm constantly walking on egg shells.

He actually got mad at me for nodding my head at church. He said it was embarrassing because I was taking the attention away from the pastor and placing it upon myself. I wasn't nodding my head insanely but in slight agreeance with the pastor's sermon.

He belittled my dreams, my goals, and my life in general. I grew tired of it. I did as much as I could and put him number 1 in my life and I expected the same in return but I never received it.

Don't allow yourself to get in the position I allowed myself to be in, it's a deep hole and it's extremely hard to escape.

It's not you, it's them. Love yourself first, and everything will fall into place. Don't give up on your dreams, goals, aspirations in life for someone else. A person who truly loves you will never ask you to change anything about yourself. (unless you're doing something to harm yourself or being self-destructive) They will support you no matter what.

Once you get rid of these type of people in your life, you can enjoy it - your way!


  1. Wow it sounds so weirdly like a similar situation I was in not that long ago, only to come to the same conclusion.

    The thing that always amuses me is people who believe themselves to be a particular thing when others would vehemently disagree with that notion.

    Sure, we all need to be slightly egotistical to get somewhere at times, but in our personal lives, the qualities of giving and sharing should never be replaed with something as ridiculous as our ego's.

    Just thought I'd add my two cents (though in the recession its more like 1/2 a cent).

    Btw, the head nodding thing, I do that all the time. At church, at work, when I perform on stage - I think it adds an air of coolness and inspires people with a true sense of positivity.

    Better than shaking your head and saying no to everything. Weird fact for the day: In the Eastern Block, shaking your head actually means yes rather than no...strange huh?

    Anyway, I'll shut up now and just end by saying great blog :)

    The MQB

  2. So proud for you! It sounds like he was just looking for something to fight with you about. I'll nod my head when I want to, thank you very much! You deserve better & will have better. Love doesn't hurt & isn't complicated. You'll find your prince!!